Friends, brothers-and-sisters-in-arms and the politically enlightened,
Do you grow tired of the fearmongering politicians hounding you to vote for them, and their boorish political party? Do you grow exasperated of the same-old same-old being spewed out of the House of Commons on a weekly basis? Are you unable to sexually satisfy your wife? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re in luck.

Full statement

We here at the glorious OFFICIAL MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY™ have big plans for not only this consistency of Blundellsands, but all of Britain. We are coming together; uniting both the left-wing and right-wing under one banner, and marching forward into the future. We will shut down Blundellsands Station and replace it with a Greggs, open 24/7. We will get rid of both manual AND automatic cars to make way for the return of horse-drawn carriages, solidifying our concern for the environment. Through your vote for us, you will be legally recognised as a KNIGHT OF THE LOONIES and be immediately conscripted to close-quarters combat against a polar bear, with only a water gun to defend yourself. Effective immediately. The sole survivor(s) will be graciously rewarded. Only the strong will survive and the dead will lie unburied.
In a world of boring insanity, vote for our super-sanity.